Hello it's Me again

Hello It's me again. I know its been a while since I have posted anything. All I can say is life gets in the way. Lots have happened since June. I have Graduated MA school. I am proud to say with a 3.79 grade point average. My darling daughter has started Cosmetology school. She loves it. (I knew she would) My awesome son has started back with his on-line school so in the kid dept everything is cool. My mom fell last month and broke her leg, not a little bone like the tibia or fibula, no she broke the biggest bone in the body, her femur. She has really weak bones from years of osteoarthritis. Right after I finished by ex-tern site for school I flew to Texas. Thank god it is not as hot as it has been over this past summer. I am crazy busy here. It seems like I never stop. Mom is wheel chair bound. That makes her a very unhappy camper. She is very stubborn and its hard for her to stay down. She can't even put pressure on her leg till Oct 13th I am staying until the 26th of Oct. I know I am needed and appreciated here. My family at home is not happy about me being gone. I have heard "come home" more times than I care to mention. It was a hard decision to leave them to come help here. Deep in my soul I know they can take care of themselves, even if they don't think so. I know they need me at home, but my moms health is not good and I know I should be here. By the time I go home all the trees will have lost their leaves and I will have missed my favorite season, Fall.------Here comes F&@#?%g winter.

Twenty Years and counting.

I know I have complained about my marriage in many different rants throughout the years but deep down I know my Husband is my true soul mate. twenty years ago I said my marriage vows and I meant them. Though the good and bad, rich and the poor and in sickness and in health my husband has always been there for me. That wonderful man I married is truly the man of my dreams.
I may not being happy where I am living but he has always tried to be here for me.He woke me up with a soft Happy anniversary sweetheart. He let me sleep next to him for a few peaceful hours this morning. waking up next to him was such a wonderful thing. He use to tease me about getting fat and leaving me ( oh course that was when I was skinny and first married to him.) I am not that skinny little thing that said I do all those many years ago. He has stood by me as I have gained weight with each baby we had. When I had to have all my woman parts taken out I felt so un-womanly. He took me in his arms and said he wold love me even if I was as big as a house. To me he looks like that same gorgeous man who said he would love me till he died. With his work and me being in school we are gonna have to put off that trip to the falls. Just like twenty years ago no fancy trip, no real honeymoon, just some quality time together as man and wife. When school is finished and he can take time off from work we can make that trip in the fall. Who wants to go on a trip in the middle of summer anyways. All I hope for is plenty more loving years with this wonderful man I pledged myself to on that wonderfully hot beautiful day in June in the heat of the high desert. I would not go back and change it for anything.

A summers day

Gee its nice to have a summers day where you don't have to worry about going anywhere or doing anything you don't want to do. I don't have days like that. I have days where I rush to and fro to pick up things for the kids. I go to school during the week so no free time there. The only free time I have is late at night. I really do miss all those summers of hanging out with friends, going to the pool, heading to the beach. Why does being a responsible adult suck so much.

When its time to let go

Roughly 16 years ago when we lived in Maryland, I had a very rough thing happen to me. I was pregnant with my oldest, and staying by myself because my husband was 2 hours away at staff academy. I, being the flake that I was (pregnancy hormones) threw away some chicken that I brought home from a restaurant. I forgot to lock up my Dog, Jake that day. Jake was a wedding gift and we had had him for almost 4 years. He went everywhere with us. He meant the world to us. When I got home from work I found the kitchen full of trash and both Jake and my cat, Speed very happy to see me but covered in trash. I was still getting sick from morning sickness, so in between puking I cleaned up the mess. Later that night Jake started throwing up. I just thought it was because of the trash eating, and figured he would just puke it out of his system. Well he didn't. I took him to vet and was told that what ever he ate made him so ill and it was tearing up his insides, their best advice was to put him to sleep. I could not let him suffer, so that is what we did. It was time to let go. I cried and cried till I could not cry anymore. I was sick for days from the grief. I told my self that I would never get that attached to a pet again, but of course I have gotten attached to our pets since then. I tell my self that I am stupid for getting new ones, my family are all a bunch of softies. We have 5 cats and had 3 dogs. Last week we had to put our Great Pyrenees to sleep. Jasmine was just getting too old and too cranky. She was hurting, and we just could not let her suffer anymore. She had snapped at the other dogs and almost caught me and my oldest in the crossfire many times. It was a really rough decision. I put it off for months, I just could not risk her biting someone. She was a big dog and would have left big marks, probably lots of stitches or death to one of the little dogs.
Over the years we have had to get rid of a few of our pets for various reasons. Not all pets are a good fit. About five years ago we had to get rid of another dog because she was snapping at people. We felt horrible but we knew it was the best thing to do. We took Abbey to the dog warden and he asked what was going on with the her. I told him that we let people keep her that we shouldn't have and they abused her and now she was snapping at the kids. It was a safety issue.
My step son had a fit about us getting rid of her even though she was a safety risk. Now after all this years we had to put Jasmine to sleep because she was hurting so much and he is giving us shit again. He said we get all these animals and just give them away when we get tired of them or want new ones. He said we labeled them bitters and had them put to sleep. We had to get rid of one dog because she bit. We gave away a puppy many years ago to my daughter in laws parents because they said they wanted him. I wanted another Brittany spaniel like my first one (Jake) but learned that trying to replace a dog with the same kind of dog is not always a good idea, he needed a place to run. After a few months we decided to adopt him out to someone who had the place for him to run. Two years ago we sent another dog to my sister in Texas because she fell in love with him and we knew he would be happier out there. Jasmine was old and hurting. She had lost almost 20 pounds in the last 6 months. On the days she really hurt she would have diarrhea. This was a very difficult situation for my family to go though and what my step son said to us I will never forget. It will take time to forgive him but I will never forget how much he hurt me. He thinks that when you get a pet you should keep them no matter what. Him and his wife had a cat that was mean, and I mean vicious. Every time someone would walk by she would hiss and swat. They kept that cat for years. Last Oct. I was at their house with the kids visiting. I went up stairs to check on my oldest granddaughter and the friggin cat attacked me. She bit my leg. I had to get a tenuous shot, it got infected, and it hurt like hell. First off, I would never have a cat like that in a house with two babies. It very well could have been one of the girls it could have attacked. They both said they were sorry that the cat bit me, and I believe they are. I know with my step sons temper if that cat would have hurt one of the girls he would have threw it out the door and never let in back in. I believe in order to be a responsible pet owner you have to think of all aspects of the pets life. That cat was not happy at their house. Happy cats don't go around hissing and swatting at people. When a pet is a danger to other pets and people in their home they need to be removed from that home. When a pet is hurting it needs to be put to sleep for humane reasons. He mentioned placing Jasmine in a rescue. Her hips were going out and most days she took a long time to get up from laying down. A rescue would have done the same thing as us. You just don't let animals suffer. This is something I have always believed in and I won't keep an animal that is a safety issue or let animals suffer when they hurt. If that is a what my step son and his wife think is a irresponsible pet owner that I guess in their eyes that is what I am. I know in my heart I did the right thing. I miss Jasmine and her big brown eyes, but I know she is in a better place where she has no more pain. It hurts so much when its time to let go.